


not with a bang but a whimper

by bravenclawesome



Series: blog of the month fics [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Blood, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Self-Sacrifice, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 02:03:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4769432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bravenclawesome/pseuds/bravenclawesome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Shoot me,” Merlin begged.</p>
            </blockquote>





	not with a bang but a whimper

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SilvertonguedClotpole](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilvertonguedClotpole/gifts).



> This fic was written for clotpoleincamelot aka Silvertonguedclotpole, runner-up for my September blog of the month! You wanted angst in a zombie apocalypse, so here you go.

“Shoot me,” Merlin begged. “Arthur, you have to, I can’t – ”

Blood was trickling down Merlin’s forearm, forming little rivulets as they reached his wrist, then his shaking palms. The wound wasn’t large, but both of them knew it was fatal; once a zombie scratched a human, they only had minutes before turning into the undead.

The zombie Arthur had just shot lay motionless on the floor, surrounded by other bodies, a clean bullet hole in the centre of its forehead. Arthur thought he had made it in time, but just before he had fired, the zombie had reached its cold arms out to Merlin, and its nails had grazed his arm. It was only a light scratch, but it was enough.

Merlin was already beginning to show signs of turning; he was covered in cold sweat, soaking through his clothes, and the blood that was gushing out of his arm showed no sign of clotting.

Arthur still had his gun in hand, but he could not bring himself to raise it. “There has to be a way,” he said, trying to sound calm, but knowing his words were tumbling over each other in his panicked state. “We can take you back to Gaius, he’ll find a cure – ”

“THERE IS NO CURE!” Merlin yelled. “Just do what I say and shoot me before I kill you too!” His face crumpled, and Merlin began to sob. “You have to save yourself, Arthur. You have Morgana, and Gwen, and I know you can make amends with your father.” The tears were coming thick and fast as they streamed down Merlin’s cheeks, but he continued. “I can already feel my systems shutting down. My vision is blurring, my arm is going numb, and I feel so cold...I’m going to turn on you any minute, Arthur – Arthur, _please_ …”

Arthur reluctantly lifted the gun and pointed it at his friend. Merlin was quaking in fear, but he stood still, making himself an easy target. Slowly, Arthur cocked his gun, placed his fingers on the trigger, and –

He couldn’t. Merlin was already going paler than he had ever seen him, and Arthur knew it was close to the end. But he would rather die than kill his best friend to save himself, despite the fact that it was exactly what Merlin wanted him to do.

“I can’t do it,” he said, and with this admission, he began to cry as well, the shock of the situation finally hitting him hard. “I can’t kill you in cold blood, Merlin, not like this...it’ll weigh on me my whole life!”

“I don’t want to be a zombie, Arthur,” said Merlin, his voice small, but firm. “I’ve seen what they do, and I don’t ever want to become that. Please. Just…just pull the trigger.” He paused. “If it helps, you can close your eyes.”

Arthur did as he was told, but even the comfort that the darkness behind his eyelids provided did not soothe him. He could still hear Merlin’s harsh breathing, becoming shorter with every breath he took.

 _I’ll do it on three,_ Arthur thought to himself. He counted slowly, dreading every moment that passed, knowing that he had to kill, or be killed, but also knowing that the person he was killing was closest to him and his heart.

One.

Two.

 _Thr –_

The gun was wrenched out of his hand, and Arthur’s eyes shot open.

“Merlin, what – ”

_BANG._

**Author's Note:**

> Title was taken from the last line of [T.S. Eliot's poem "The Hollow Men"](http://www.shmoop.com/hollow-men/poem-text.html).


End file.
